Bullying should never be minimized or rationalized as part of growing up. "Telling bullies to just be nice is hogwash," bestselling author Barbara Coloroso told participants at CTA's Rural Issues Conference.
Students should be taught to use "arms of restraint, arms of compassion, not fists of vengeance."
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Author Barbara Coloroso conducts a session on bullying. |
Coloroso attributes many of the acts of violence that have taken place on school campuses over the past several years to bullying. Her new book
The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander
discusses what bullying is, how students become bullies, and how parents and teachers can help break the cycle of violence.
"Boys will be boys" is an unacceptable excuse for justifying mistreatment of others, she said.
"Bullies aren't mad, they have contempt for other human beings. They inflate their egos by deflating others."
She went on to say the students they target eventually begin to target themselves. "They start to believe, 'I am a whore,' 'I am a wimp.'"
Coloroso contends that children come from three types of families: the absolutely rigid "brick wall" family, the wishy-washy "jellyfish" family, and the ideal "backbone" family. The backbone family gently models appropriate behavior to children, thus creating the basis for the children to develop healthy interpersonal relationships. "We have to teach kids how to think, not just what to think."
She urged teachers to continue modeling integrity and doing the right thing even "when the burden is heavy."
"All good deeds are not rewarded. Just being in this profession should teach you that."
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Jose Berrios from Victor Valley asks a question. |
Following Coloroso's presentation, many participants attended a workshop on "Creating a Safe School Environment." They reviewed the results of a school safety survey conducted among teachers and learned how to create crisis response teams. "We learned how safety ties in with the requirements of NCLB," said Jacquelyn Buckner, president of the Tulare City Teachers Association. "All students need a safe school environment."
Coloroso's presentation made Buckner think twice about her own philosophy. "I raised two boys and I did see the 'boys will be boys' antics." If she had it to do over again, she says she'd "really stay on top of them. And when my grandkids come along, I'll be keeping my eyes open."
The Jan. 16-18 conference in Las Vegas offered sessions of interest to teachers from rural areas. Among the topics were Health Care in Rural California, Diversity Issues in Rural Areas, The Impact of High-Stakes Testing in Rural Areas, Current Special Education Issues in California, and Bargaining ESEA Issues.
Describing herself as a "country girl at heart," CTA President Barbara E. Kerr closed the conference by addressing another issue that affects rural, urban and suburban teachers alike - health care. She discussed the various proposals under way, and reiterated CTA's support for the striking grocery workers in Southern California, whose health care plans are being undermined by corporate conglomerates.
Karyn Ferrera Donhoff
